Calcutta- here I come...

One thing I have noticed is that whenever I have something new happening in my life~ whether shifting houses, taking a new job, going to IIMK for studies~ there is always some kind of resistance. The mind and body are afraid of the unknown. One doesn't know what to expect and there is that natural feeling of not wanting to come out of your comfort zone. Even though you know that it's the best thing that could happen to you- (like K, for me) you're still hesitant and concerned.

But along with that there is this other feeling that you get~ the feeling that this time tum jaa kar bilkul tod-fod macha doge..! When it was K- I thought I'm gonna go and top in every subject and participate in every activity and be friends with everyone etc etc. (I think I achieved a lot of what I had hoped for- forget the grades! :) When I came to Mumbai I was really excited about having my own house and doing it up nicely and seeing Mumbai in all its glory and excelling at my workplace. Now when I'm going to Calcutta (I never say Kolkata) I am again getting that feeling of raring to go. Till now W Bengal has been doing miserably in my company's P&L and I'm telling myself that I'll go there and change the culture of the place (!) and change the way people do business there :D I'm also gearing myself up again to work on my CV, take up projects that I had been meaning to for quite some time. So all-in-all I feel that change is good for me. It somehow always makes me think afresh about my goals/priorities and charges me up even more :)

So Calcutta- Look out..here I come :))

Black.

There are times in life when you get a reality check. I have very recently come to know that there is someone out there, who Hates me...!! Seriously! This person has left me an anonymous message telling me that I will go to hell..! And it kinda disturbed me. Mainly because of 2 reasons-

1) I never thought that there could be someone who Actually hates me! I mean, sure I'm not saying that everyone has to love me coz I'm so great blah blah blah...but I thought that I'm definitely not someone who you'd hate (and that too, so deeply as to leave me a message like that!)

2)The other reason why I got a li'l harried was that the person did not have the guts to leave his name. Which could mean that he is either a coward or a really slimy character~ and I think it's really imp to be careful of both these kind of people.

Ummm...I don't know if there are any more people out there who hate me/dislike me~ maybe for certain actions of mine, maybe certain words spoken. I just know that I act on my instincts and do what I feel is right at the moment. Maybe my actions can backfire or maybe they were just the right thing to do ~ I don't know and I am not the one to judge. I believe in just listening to what my heart says. And then if you feel that you just have to do something, well then you gotta do what you gotta do...

Country roads...take me home...take me home...

One thing that everyone must do at least once in their lifetime- is to stay away from home. Especially females. You need to come out of that comfort zone and then see what life has to offer to you. And believe me it's not easy. It's not easy to come back home to an empty house after a long day at work; it's not easy to come home and wonder what to do for dinner; it's not easy to survive on McD/Pizza Hut for 6 months; it's not easy to learn cooking right from scratch... it's not easy to spend the weekend doing odd jobs like washing your clothes, going grocery shopping etc. It's not easy to learn to wash your own dishes, when you come from a home where you've been so pampered that you've never had to move a finger. It's not easy to mop and sweep your room and then clean up that dirty mop also! All in all, it's not easy.

Mumbai has taught me so much, it's overwhelming. More than anything one learns that everything in life doesn't come on a silver platter. You learn to value home and family so much more. And more than anything else, it brings you down from your high horse and put your feet firmly on the ground. If IIM K taught me how much I can stretch myself intellectually, staying alone in a big city taught me how to stretch myself emotionally and physically. I'm proud that I survived both the places so well and am returning home a better & stronger person...

Alibaug trip

There were so many things that I had to write, but just din't get the time in the last few weeks. I had definitely planned to write about my Alibaug trip with Sheeba. For once we made an impulsive plan (though the initial plan was Goa- just the two of us :) and it actually took off with no glitches. It had been really really long that we had done an all-girls thing like this and it just couldn't have been perfecter :D We were just lying on the beach on the mat with sunscreen and loads to talk about. Definitely the most brilliantest outing ever for me (especially with the awesome company- thanks Sheebs for a great time :)

You know what would have been better though? There should be like an all-girls beach! Where men are not allowed only :) ya, that would have been better. You wouldn't have to worry about some creepy guy clicking your pics from his cellphone, or look at fat, ugly, naked men covering each other in mud (eeeeawwww $%*&^$##$). You could actually wear a swim suit and not feel uncomfortable, you could just do so much more. The possibilities are unending...hmmm... I think there's an idea for a B-Plan...any takers? :D

The countdown begins...

I am getting more and more restless these days. There is a sinking feeling in my stomach that the end is coming closer. I have 2 weekends left in Mumbai and exactly 12 days of freedom left. I like to believe that I am the kind of person who does not like stagnating. I like change. I like the fact that something new is happening in my life. But this time I wonder why this churning feeling in my stomach just doesn't settle down.

I am definitely looking fwd to going back home, to celebrating my sister's wedding, to getting pampered and loved at home, to good home-food. But more than that I am deeply regretting what is definitely going to be the death of my independence. Don't get me wrong- I'm not worried about not getting to stay out late, or not getting to hang out with friends. I am more concerned about the fact that my family thinks that I am coming back to them just like I had left home. That their little girl has had a long holiday and she is back now. But I'm not sure if they understand that I've grown up, and now I like to deal with Life in my own way. I'm also worried that I might mold myself according to the rules of society again and become the "good girl" again- and might forget what it felt like to just be yourself- good or bad- happy or sad- but yourself!

I think I need to start concentrating on other things now- more important things-like my CV. I get the feeling that time is running out and I still have so much to do. When I was appearing for CAT, I remember I was so focused and knew what I wanted in Life. Basically ever since I've got into K, I don't think I have found anything that has made me go crazy like that again. Hmmm....so what I'm gonna do now, is that I will make some goals and Definitely stick by them.

In the meanwhile, all gyan is welcome on how to improve my CV.

You can either live life up to your expectations or up to other people's. Your entire life you have been the perfect kid, the good boy, miss-goody-two-shoes. All your life, you've heard people praise you- heard people say that you can never go wrong. You have spent your childhood and young adulthood, living upto these peoples' hopes for you. You've become a doctor, even though you wanted to study Arts, you've worked hard and perfected yourself and life seems rosy.

Then a time comes when you get the opportunity to decide things for yourself. Where you can start afresh and make changes because no one knows you. And you see that all the things that your parents/teachers/elders told you, were not necessarily true. Maybe it's all right if you get a B instead of an A+. Maybe it's OK if you bunk classes once in a while. Maybe it's not bad to have a beer or two. You're suddenly out in the world- away from the protection of you family, away from people who taught you what was right and wrong and made the decisions for you. But now, you need to decide things for yourself and your life. You have to set your own expectations and live up to them.

You may not live up to society's expectations any more. Your friends may feel that you've changed too much. Your parents may think that their upbringing went wrong somewhere. These issues will appear. You will get a lot of emotional blackmail. But don't worry. Just stick your ground. Even if you feel that you've made a mess out of your first attempt at leading Life your way- don't worry. Just remember-
a)At least this mess is your mess. At least you're not stuck with a mess created by someone else making decisions for you
b)You're still finding your way around- you'll learn!
c) The only person you are answerable to- is Yourself and your top most priority is your happiness.

Baz Luhrmann- Wear Sunscreen

One of the most inspiring songs I've ever heard :)

sunscreen song

This is a song I was introduced to in college...and whenever I am down, I listen to it and somehow it always peps me up. The lyrics are real cool....google for it and follow it with the video above :P

What is with people? Either I have changed too much in the past 2.5 yrs or people have stopped exactly where they were and stopped moving forward. It's true that my idea of "fun" has changed. I like partying. I just like the sound of saying something like, "Let's paaaaarrrrddddyyyy!!" I was a complete geek before coming to K and that place taught me to let myself a little loose and sit back and relax.

And partying doesn't necessarily mean boozing or taking drugs. It means hanging out, listening to music, doing bakar, dancing, pulling each other's legs etc.

Then why do Indians think that it's bad to have fun? You know, parents say stuff like, "She's always out with friends. Uske ghar pe pair nahi tiktey." As if that is a bad thing to do. I don't think there's anything wrong in that. And when, even people of our generation have that backward way of thinking, I just think "Boss, yeh kya hai!" And it's even more frustrating when you tell your friends ki let's meet up and someone says something like "Kya karenge mil ke?" Or, if there is some cause of celebration and you say that we're partying on so-and-so date at so-and-so place, they actually ask you something like, "Kya karenge party mei?" Huh!! :O

When men get sexually harassed..!

I recently heard something which made me sit up and take notice...it's not like one does not hear stories about men being at the wrong side of sexual advances; but someone actually describing his experience was a complete shocker. My first reaction was :O and then a small grin and then a full gabbar style roar :D

But then, that's not done. The poor guy was apparently standing in the crowded local, the entire time "protecting" himself and was really MAD about it. But what surprised me was that-
a)he din't say anything to the guy who was "molesting" him
b)he thought it was not molestation/sexual harassment, it was just disgusting

Maybe men don't look at eve-teasing in the same manner as women do. There was no anger at being treated as a physical object or any frustration at the advances. And in fact, if it had been some young girl instead of a sleepy middle aged man, maybe he would have just stood there enjoying himself. And maybe if this was not a one-off incident, but rather something which he faced almost every day, then maybe his reaction would have been stronger.

And ya, maybe I should not have laughed...at least not so loudly :D

Beowulf- Temptation is the greatest curse

Beowulf is an Anglo-Saxon epic poem about a great warrior. It's the oldest found epic in English and any student of English Literature would be able to tell you what significance it holds for this language. So, when I went to see the latest Anthony Hopkins flick, by the same name, I hoped to revive some of my enthusiasm for old English literature and poetry and see if I remembered anything about this piece.

The epic is a tale (musical in nature- because of the use of alliteration (ref: wikipedia) about a Scandinavian warrior named Beowulf. In the poem, he battles three monsters- one by the name of Grendel, second- Grendel's mom, who wants to take revenge and third, some un-named dragon, in his later life. Beowulf dies in this final battle after slaying the dragon. Apparently, there are 3 funerals in the poem, outlining these three battles. Umm, for those who are interested, do read in detail in Wikipedia (link here)

The movie, though, has taken a different view to the tale and I don't know how much of it is true. Here, Grendel's mom is Angelina Jolie (quite a monster, one would say!) looking extremely appealing and inviting in dripping gold paint. And when Beowulf goes to the lake to kill her, for she wants revenge for her son's death, she makes him an offer he cant refuse- he should give her a son and she will leave the kingdom alone. Beowulf, in the moment of weakness, unites with her and happily goes back to the king, saying that he has slain the evil Grendel's mom.

Now for the ironical part- the king guesses everything- coz in his younger days, the same thing had happened with him and Grendel had actually been the King's son-with Madam Jolie. Hehehehe....one can't help find this scene amusing and the look of desperation on Beowulf's face, to undo his wrong, has been aptly captured. The king very happily hands over the crown, the kingdom, the riches and the Curse to Beowulf and passes away. Beowulf lives his entire life waiting for that curse to resurface in the form of his son and has no peace or happiness. In his later days, the dragon monster finally attacks and Beowulf kills him.

All in all, a tale well told and a moral thrown in too- "temptation is the greatest curse"

What Kind of Guy Will You Fall For?
	You would fall for the geek. If you're looking for love, consider spending a little more time studying up in the library. To you, there's nothing more attractive than intelligence, shyness, and kindness; your future love may have four eyes and zero social skills, but he'll make up for it in brains and heart.
Find Your Character @ BrainFall.com

Which Friends Character Are You?
	You are Rachel. You're very selfish and pay great attention to image. Spoiled when you were young, you were always the popular and snobbish kid. Although you hang on to your adolescent attributes, you grow more responsible every year.
Find Your Character @ BrainFall.com

I don't know why I'm feeling so agitated... am scared, tired, hesitant, silent.... I don't know why....
Have not spoken to anyone or said anything....bas subah se kaam mei hi laga hua hai....yet my mind refuses to calm down... Don't even know what is disturbing me, it's just that weird feeling that something really horrible is about to happen...