Are you feeling gay?

The gay parade in Delhi took me quite by surprise...but in a good way. It's heartening to see that the government is finally at least looking positive about repealing Article 377 of the IPC. To bring clarity to people who don't know what this law is about, let me explain. Basically it prohibits intercourse against "the order of nature". Which means that if you belong to, what is commonly known as the LGBT (Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgender) community- it a criminal offence in our country. Such unlawful sex can land you a heavy fine and even a 10 year sentence!

The question then is that if a person is born like this, then isn't it Nature's doing? And so, how can you be against the order of nature? What is funnier is that in a democracy, a person basically does not have the right to choose his life partner. When I hear politicians, clerics, maulvis, priests and pundits say that this is a sin or that it is against their scriptures- I wanna give them 1 tight slap (MTV style!)
a) Because we all know that these people just want power and have never been modern thinkers. They will hardly support any idea of change.
b) Stop the crap about how this is against Indian culture and how we Indians are so culturally rich etc etc... The country is bursting from its seams because of its uncontrollable population- which means that somebody is getting laid. So just cut the pretence of being seedha-saadha...
c) We keep hearing stories about young boys and girls being abused by priests and pundits. Now that's unnatural!

Every time a discussion has been started about this law, the ministers from the concerned ministries have themselves been orthodox thinkers and have not been able to even come to a consensus regarding at least modifying Article 377. (But this time around I'm hoping we'll see something concrete happen).
I know it will take a long time for the LGBT community to become a part of the mainstream community in a country like ours. But it's definitely heartening to see that there seems to be a positive change and acceptance and more and more people have the courage to come out of the closet.

Stop Child Abuse

A woman comes and tells me that she is worried that her father-in-law is sexually abusing her 2 year old daughter. Read it carefully- 2 years old!! She doesn't know what to do; her husband has so far placated her fears by saying, "It's not possible!" But now she is more or less sure. Expecting support from her mom-in-law or the younger brother-in-law is out of the question. What should she do now, she asks me. Should she confront him, should she move out of the house, how should she stop the man's access to her daughter? He is after all the kid's grandfather, and as far as people are concerned, a very doting grandfather!

I dont have answers for her. I have learnt how to handle queries, how to give comfort, how to be sympathetic.... but I don't have answers to questions like these. There are just so many threads to each situation like this. There are so many people/family members involved....I'd like to think that I explained the importance and urgency of the situation very well to her... and also convinced her to talk to her husband. But everytime I come across cases like these, I get more and more frustrated... I don't get the feeling that I'm doing any good in the world (or not enough at least). I'd like to see Elaan have a full-fledged intervention cell, where we can actually protect victims like these... but I know that's not happening any time soon... and that's what scares me... there are so many children out there and no one to listen to them, support them or stand for them...

p.s. Photograph by Paromita Deb Areng

Lessons learnt from Life

a) Never work on a business with friends or relatives

b) Keep professional and personal lives mutually exclusive

c) Don't trust people

d) Your family is the only one to stick with you in times of trouble. They will always be there for you and will always have your best in mind.

e) Never trust men, where business is concerned. They are far more manipulative than women can even imagine!

f) People come alone in this world and go alone. This journey of life should be travelled alone and with supreme self-confidence

g) Writing stuff like this in a blog won't help. What will help is to go back to the drawing board and learn from your mistakes and move on. A couple of knocks in life shouldn't bog you down!

I don't remember when was the last time I laughed so much...! I had thought that I would leave latest by 9 pm, but I finally reached home at 11 :P

Some observations about life- 

*Harmless flirting is the most amazing and healthy thing in the world

*It's great to meet old aquaintances after a long time- you have so much to talk about :)

*Laughter is the best medicine

*It's surprising how you can somehow meet people after 2-3 years and yet, just pick up the threads from where you last left them...

All in all, a great party- I'm really glad I decided to pull myself out of bed for this one :D

I am soooo tired I can't believe it... don't remember the last time I felt this exhausted... and I mean a good exhausted- the kind that makes you feel happy and satisfied... sigh :)

To all people reading this blog- the best thing you can do for yourself is to quit your lousy jobs (if you find them lousy, i mean.. if you're loving your work- then this advice is not for you :P) ... so as I was saying- just quit your job and dive head-first into your own venture- do whatever excites you, what you've always wanted to do... don't wait for opportunities to knock on your door... go create your own opportunities :)

The Taliban is back...

The new Shia Family Law passed by Afghanistan comes as big blow to any progress towards gender equality. The fall of the Taliban might have been welcomed in Afghanistan, but they surely don't seem in a hurry to let go of their philosophies..! The law stands against the most basic rights that a woman can ask for. 

She cannot leave the house without her husband's permission and cannot get education or employement or even medical help without his consent. The wife is supposed to submit to her husband's sexual demands- which basically means that whenever he gets horny (sorry about the language), she better be ready or he would be well within his rights to rape her (after all it is one of his rights as her husband!)

It is heartening to see that the women of Afghanistan have not given up...about 200 of them took to the streets in a protest march against the law...only to be faced by a mob of angry men who spit on them and threw stones at them!! And these same men say that this Law has been passed to protect the weaker sex (though I wonder who they are being protected against?) 

And the roller coaster continues...

I sometimes wonder why I cannot be as proffessional in my personal life as my proffesssional life. I wish I could just treat myself like a colleague or a job to be done or deadlines to be met... would just be able to become a task-master and just do what I need to... Just go about Life as if it were part of my job and take up whatever comes my way- whether I like it or not... 

I mean, I know I'm going round in circles... but sometimes I wish I could just be more content with life... I wonder why I keep getting this feeling of dissatisfaction every now and then, like there's so much I'm missing out on... I sometimes wish I hadn't gone to K at all... bcoz the days spent there have shown me how much more one can get out of life... and how much more I can expect from life... and when you raise your expectations, then obviously you won't be satisfied in life..! (pout)

GiST

Came across this site called Grace in Small Things. The concept is just soo simple that you'd be surprised you never thought of it. It's just about being thankful about the small things in life. We all find it so much easier to crib about life, work, relationships, families etc... but how often do we feel thankful for the good things? So this site gets people together to fight against embitterment, against sarcasm, against cribbing.... :) 

All you have to do, is say thanks for 5 good things everyday...It's not going to be as simple as that though... bcoz we are conditioned  in such a way that we cannot see the good in people/situations/life... frankly- when I sat down to write, I really couldn't think of a lot of things to say grace about. But that  doesn't mean we can't try :) 

I'm flying my helicopter to SA

The power of imagination is the best thing about childhood. It can make you into whatever you want to- a pilot, a doctor, an actor, a model... it changes everyday :D You can make as many imaginary friends as you want...you have to hear my 4 yr old nephew talk, to understand what good, vibrant imagination is :D 

He has 2 imaginary friends- one is Rahul (he is supposed to be a doctor) and the other is called Kashyap (!!??)... and apparently both of them are his colleagues from office! :D I get to hear stories about how Rahul picked him up in the morning and how they went to office together... everyday, he talks to them on my mobile... gives them details about his daily activities... tells me about how they are all going to South Africa to watch the IPL matches... he will apparently take his helicopter there and park it somewhere outside the stadium.... hehehe.... and the best part is when I tell him that I can't come to SA with him, coz I have office... he says, "Bad luck! I'll just have to leave you and go" :)) 

Kids! :D

Combating Child Sexual Abuse

For those who still don't know about my association with Elaan and the fight against child sexual abuse (CSA)- here are some things I'd like to share. 

Elaan's mission is to reach out to as many people as possible and create awareness about CSA. We hope to empower victims, help them in the healing process, create dialogues and reach out to survivors...you can read more about them on their blog. 

I'd like to tag my fellow bloggers- Shekhar, Sheeba, Paro, Suma, Nitai, Neeta, Ami, Jayesh, Karra, DB- to write about CSA. Whatever little you can write would be great. Do make a mention of Elaan and paste the link to it's blog. It's all for a cause and I'm hoping to reach out to as many people as possible. If anyone wants to contribute to the cause in any way, please feel free to ping me :)

I envy people who have a real talent.. I mean the kind of thing you can actually exhibit... to be able to dance or sing or paint or something like that.... That's what I call real talent. 

Went to M's house and saw the recent portraits she has done- and I just wish I could draw like that.. Do check out her blog and you will see what I mean...

http://maryamys.blogspot.com/

Like a rose, life was meant to have its thorns.

Read this somewhere and well, I thought why not- I'm anyways not writing much original stuff these days...and it's a nice, simple statement... and gets the message across very simply :) 

It's the time to Disco... na nana nana... it's the time to disco... :D 

On the pure relationship of a father and daughter...

For those who still believe that this does not happen in "our" society or to people "like us"- wake up! 

2 very very similiar incidents have come into the media glare in the last week. One was the case of the Austrian, 73 year old Joseph Fritzl who kept his daughter imprisoned in his house cellar for 24 years, and physically assaulted, abused and raped her and even fathered 7 children with her! He has been sentenced to life imprisonment and the woman and her children are undergoing clinical help. 

Now, for all of you who are smirking and thinking that this is what happens in Western civilisations and that we Indians cannot even imagine something like this happening here- read this.! The same thing can happen and does happen in India too. It's simply that we Indians like to live like ostriches, with our heads buried away from the truth. 

My only incentive for writing this is that there needs to be a stronger punishment for incest cases like these, because here, the guardian, who is supposed to be protecting his child from this very thing, is the perpetrator of the crime. There needs to be very strict laws to protect children against abuse. Is anyone listening??

Live life queen size!

I will never understand how the human mind works. 2 incidents occured yesterday- and they both make me realise the same thing- that your life is in your hands. It's up to you- what you do with it and how you live it. No one is to blame for your sorrows, miseries and troubles. You need to have the confidence to stand by what you believe is right for you! 

Mukhtar Mai has got married and I couldn't be happier. This lady has been a source of inspiration for me. It would be fairly easy for people like you and me to stand up for what we believe in. But here is a woman- barely literate, born in an oppressive society, never stepped out of home, financially dependant on her parents... and she had the guts to stand up against her oppressors and shake the entire administrative and judicial system of her country! 

Cut to 2009. A young woman in her early thirties, born and brought up in Calcutta, received good education, had a loving family, got married, had kids (the younger one is less than a year old!)- and she commits suicide (or was it?) because she cannot stand the torture of her in-laws anymore. I couldn't believe my ears when I heard that R is no more. My question is that why didn't her parents and brother do anything about it when they knew of her dismal relationship with her in-laws? And why didn't she have the courage to step out of the marriage? How can a smart, educated young woman continue to live in the humiliation and torture and not have the guts to say, "Balls to you!! ^%$#@$" 

As long as women continue to live in an oppressed manner and think that there is no hope for them- our society will not change. Take your life in your hands- don't wait for someone to come help you... otherwise it may be too late!