Happy Teachers' Day to me...

Today after a long time I am missing my teaching days. The sense of fulfillment that teaching as a profession can give you, is hard to find in any other job. I had some 20 kids of my own, each with his/her own idiosyncrasies and I loved each of them for what they were :)

Early in the morning when I would be sitting on a mat with the children surrounding me, Anandini (2 yrs old at the time) would walk right in the door and gimme a tight hug and say, "Auuuunnnnttyyyy!" :) Hehehehe...she was this little cutie pie and a perfect angel. She would sit on my lap during lunch break and sing a Bengali poem which the "didis" (the maids/helpers) had taught her.

The one kid I will never forget is Varun M. Chainani (3 1/2 yrs). If you have ever seen a monster, he was the perfect specimen. I think he got some cardinal pleasure if he managed to make me pull my hair out by the end of the day. The days he was absent used to be the best :D Everyone could do their work in peace without having to complain about Varun messing up things and I could breathe peacefully for some time. But on the days he din't come to school, I would miss the small pink periwinkle that he brought for me every morning (plucked out of the school garden, which he was obviously forbidden to do :) I sometimes wonder what happened to my little monster with the front teeth missing :)

Avyay (3yrs) was this brilliant, smart, handsome kid who was made for big things. He would surely grow up to be a heart-breaker some day ;) Rishabh was this fatty kid, Kshitij was the silent one and Zuhaib the seedha one. Among the girls I remember Ayushi, Riya, Joshna; all perfect princesses :)

The thing about kids is that their life is so simple and they love unconditionally. I am glad that they came into my life and gave me so much love and fulfillment. I hope they all turn out into brilliant human beings and do well in Life. God Bless them.

The Boy who cried wolf & A Roller-Coaster

I started writing this blog about some negative things again this morning. About how in today's world the "Boy who cried Wolf" could be the people you think you are close to. Who tell you (lie?) that they care about you and will be there for you in times of need. But when the Wolf actually comes (meaning when troubles arrive) these people won't be there. I know this allegory doesn't really match with the real story but that doesn't really matter either.

Have you ever sat on a roller coaster? It gives you this funny feeling in your tummy when you go from the top to the bottom. Somehow I feel that Life is like that only. It takes only a few seconds to bring you from the high highs to the low lows. And as your life goes rocketing down you get this queasiness and uncertainty. But I guess we should also remember that we will again climb up from here and the feeling of adrenalin rushing into your blood will take you to newer highs. But its just that this continuous cycle of up and down leaves you pukish in the end and you just wanna get off the ride.

Today Life gave me a hard kick on the backside and saw to it that I give up this grumbling and bloody well start acting like a grown up. Happened to catch up with an old friend today. Out of the blue I found out that he had had a horrible accident for which he was in bed for 4 1/2 months and today he is on crutches with one leg badly hurt :(

Life is very unfair. But I suddenly realised that it hasn't really been that unfair to me. I have been able to pursue my MBA, live life king size, come to Mumbai and fulfill my dreams, keep pressures of marriage at bay...more or less done a pretty decent job of my life so far. Yet I crib so much about how My life is screwed up!

Everyday I hear of people dying, of horrible diseases like cancer, of abortions and miscarriages, of poverty and bankruptcies, of families breaking apart...and yet I have never turned to God and said thank you for keeping me and my family safe. Every morning I go to the church and tell Jesus about my problems and ask him to sort them out for me, but it's very rare that I say, "Father, everything is all right and I wanna thank you for it."

We just take things for granted so easily- "like being able to lift your own bloody foot." I am in an introspective mood and I am ashamed of myself: of how greedy I have become, how my need and craving for happiness has blinded me to the pain and suffering around me. How, in the last 3 months I have not been able to take out time for any kind of social service, even though I work only 5 days a week and am home by 7pm. How we as humans have stopped being thankful for the small joys that Life brings our way, every now and then.

Blank

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Live for yourself

I never thought that being cold can ever be the solution to anything. But I am proud to say that I have mastered the art of being cold/rude/harsh to people. I have mastered the art of not caring about how the other person would feel if you said something strongly. Because now I think, that your biggest responsibility is towards yourself first, only then do other people come in. If you are not happy with something, then it is not worth it. And you should not do something just to make someone happy. Don't get me wrong, I'm not saying that you should not do favours for people, but if it causes you distress, anguish or even plain and simple irritation, you need not bother. Ya I know, I sound like a really bad person, but I am beginning to question this whole morality of giving selflessly and caring and sharing. Our parents always teach us all these "good" things like being nice to people, not being rude to them etc., but how come they never told us to be nice to ourselves? How come we were never taught to love ourselves? I feel the whole concept of moral values need to be re-worked and the motto in life should be "live for yourself".

Miles to go before I sleep...

The 1 thing that my days at IIM have shown me, is how much capacity I have to stretch myself. You really don't know how far you can go until you try it. You will realise that you can go for hours even without sleep. Learn to live life in the moment and make the most out of every hour/minute and second, coz these days will never come back again... :K

Maro a night-out, do masti the whole of next day- party/shopping/bakar/
lunches/plays/dinners and then after some 6 odd hours of sleep, gear up for a tiring week ahead... feel the adrenalin rushing through your body, feel your heart pumping blood through your veins so that you can go that extra mile :)

I love the feeling that you get when you have packed your clock with so much work/activities that your bones feel tired and your eyes cannot open any more, and you feel like just plopping into a comforting bed...I like that feeling of being so dead tired that you fall into the deepest slumber possible...when you know that you have achieved the maximum possible out of the 24 hrs given to you, you will not feel guilty about falling asleep and resting awhile.

The woods are lovely, dark and deep,
But I have promises to keep,
And miles to go before I sleep,
And miles to go before I sleep.

Male-bashing (literally!)...

I am back in my feminist mood today...people say that I should become the head of some Mahila Mukti Morcha group...well I don't care what people say; I have a problem with men... I have a problem with the way they look at females as if they were sex-objects, I have a problem that they think they can say just bloody anything and get away with it, or that they can just grab any female on the road or feel her up and she won't say anything....! This is not 200 BC where men had harems and women were sold in open markets. It's high time that men in our country learnt how to respect women. (& I say India only, coz thats my concern, coz i'm gonna stay in India and would encounter Indian bastards only most of my life...)

I encountered one such bastard yesterday afternoon, who thought that because he was in a gang of 6-7, he could get away with anything. But I guess he din't realise ki uska kisse paala pada hai... :D I am proud to say that the connection between the bottle in my hand and his face was just perfect and am sure he would have a pretty neat black eye this morning :))))

We are not kids anymore who would get scared at a situation like this. This is a call to all women out there, to not take this stuff lying down and think, "Chod naa, hota rehta hai..." No. Raise your voice against any kind of misbehaviour. Whistling, cat-calls, brushing past, touching, grabbing...all of us have faced some of this, sometime or the other in our lives. And it is high time we gave it right back to them where it would really hurt; and like I say, "Bacchey nahi paida kar paoge!"

Chak de!

Faces of India

A small house of my own....

2 friends of mine are shifting in together in a flat in Lower Parel. Went to see the place and it was AWESSSSOOMMMMME! Its like a duplex and really really well done on the inside. Its painted in a classy way, with orange, yellow and red. I was soooo soooo soooo damn Jealous I can't believe...that's coz I had thought that I'd have my own house in Mumbai, which I would do up nicely and you know, like someone said, " having ur own house...even if rented is a gud feeling...its as if u r the king of that small place on earth and can do whatever u wish to..."

And I'm staying in a stupid PG (well it's not really stupid and I can do whatever I want to really)...but its still not "My House"...It's more like a temporary arrangement, doesn't give you that sense of ownership...but koi na, I have made it quite clear to them that they can expect to find me there at any time and I would like to be treated like a quasi- owner; whether they like it or not!! :DD

Awesome weekend...

If you've been in Bombay for quite some time and never been to Elephanta Caves, you've missed an awesome trip...it is an amazing getaway...go there with a bunch of friends, sit on the upper deck, have coke/pepsi, chips, red ber (thats not beer, thats ber~ small red berries).... :)) Plus listen to some awesome music on FM Rainbow :)
The caves transport you to a completely different era- there is a massive shiva linga in the centre and there are dwarpaals guarding the gates..you will find the nataraj, shiv with parvati, brahma-vishnu-mahesh adorning the walls... and the best part is the curio shops lining the climb till the caves...you can buy small nick-nacks as souvenirs~ cute earings/ cards/t shirts/costers..u name it, they got it.
Felt really nice to do touristy stuff, sit on a toy train, buy postcards and see stupid foreigners getting enamoured by India's beauty and history :D Later we ended up at Bade Miya and then obviously Marine Drive :)
Overall an awesome Saturday and a trip I would recommend to all (unless you get sea-sick)

I'm on top of the world, looking down on creation....

Today, after almost 2 weeks I have experienced that "high" again...this is the same adrenaline pump you get when you see a vast expanse of sea, or when you are at the top of a mountain peak... and you feel that All is right with the world and its all yours~ the trees, the flowers, the sun, the clear skies..are all there especially for you... You have this smile on your face and people wonder why you're grinning like a buffoon, but you don't care and keep baring those whites... :D

There are just days when you get up in the morning and you feel that you got out of the right side :P (If only I knew which was the right side, I'd get up from there everyday!) :)) You put on nice music and do a short jiggle in front of the mirror and end up giggling all by yourself...heheheh :P

There's this song we were taught in school, which has been running in my head. I esp. like the chorus, which goes, "I'm on top of the world, looking down on creation..." That's how I feel today, right on top of Mt. Everest :)
Here's how it goes...

Such a feeling's comin' over me
There is wonder in most everything I see
Not a cloud in the sky
Got the sun in my eyes
And I wont be surprised if its a dream

Everything I want the world to be
Is now coming true especially for me
And the reason is clear
Its because you are here
Your the nearest thing to heaven that Ive seen

(Chorus) I'm on the top of the world lookin' down on creation
And the only explanation I can find
Is the love that Ive found ever since you've been around
Your loves put me at the top of the world

Something in the wind has learned my name
And its tellin' me that things are not the same
In the leaves on the trees and the touch of the breeze
Theres a pleasin' sense of happiness for me

There is only one wish on my mind
When this day is through I hope that I will find
That tomorrow will be just the same for you and me
All I need will be mine if you are here

(Chorus) I'm on the top of the world lookin' down on creation
And the only explanation I can find
Is the love that Ive found ever since you've been around
Your loves put me at the top of the world

Thou shalt not be a Cribber...

I sometimes get the feeling that I have become a "cribber". I'm not sure if thats an actual word, but you get the idea na! Basically I seem to be cribbing about everything- Mumbai, the rains, the slush, about my job, about getting up early, about life in general, about anything and everything. I get up in the morning in a horrible surly mood and don't smile anymore. I reach office and the first thing I tell Vidya is, "I din't wanna come to office AT ALL today" or "I'm not in the mood to work today" or "I am in a horrible mood!" I have been cribbing about the noise in my office, about the people around, about how there aren't any my kinda people, about the loud cell phones, about not having enough fun in Mumbai....sigh...I could go on and on...! I have even been cribbing about my landladies who are in fact perfect angels and soo nice to me.... :(

I am taking a vow that henceforth I will try my best not to get irritated at little things and at friends and colleagues and my aunty and even at rickshawallas. This is a sincere request to all my friends to please give me a (gentle) reminder whenever they see me act surly and scroogey, coz I think Life is very short and inshallah it's going very peaceful for quite some time. So instead of getting scared of this calm, please help me sit back and enjoy it :)

Yaaaaron, dosti...badi hi haseen hai...

There comes a time in your life when friends become as important (if not more than) your family; when you expect their presence on all your special moments. You want them to be there on your b'days, you want them to dance at your wedding, you want them to be there to ooh-aah over your first born, you want them to be there when you grow old :)

Over the years my gang of friends has changed and their are always additions and subtractions~ there are short term buddies and long term friends too :D It doesn't happen intentionally, but today if I need a shoulder to cry on, I know who to turn to. I do not need any Happy Friendship Day messages or cards or gifts to know who my friends are :)

So this post gets dedicated to Rashi, Nausheen, Aditi, Maryam, Neelam, Heta, Neetu, Dipti, Vikhyat, Reddy, Sheeba, Namrata, Suma, Paro, Megh, Kiran, Gaggu, Bala, Motu, DG, Battu, Miya, Bhanu, John, Chinu, Vineet....

I know I won't be in touch with all of you for the rest of my life, but I promise I'll try my best :)

A poem in praise of someone...

The following poem has been written by a very good friend of mine. I am proud to say that my blog-writing skills inspired him to write something too... :)))
I especially like the parts about "a child's innocent smile", "the purest form of rain", and "the warmth of the winter sun"... :)
He reminds me of the poets from the Romantic Age...when stalwarts like Wordsworth and Coleridge described beauty through Nature and said that "a thing of beauty is a joy forever..."

BEAUTY

Whenever I try to describe your beauty,
I fall short of words.
But this is just an honest effort
To give you a little of what you are worth.

You are the simplicity of a prayer,
A child's innocent smile;
You are as intricate as silence,
A star shining all the while.

You are the purest form of rain,
Warmth of the winter sun;
You are the fragrance of a budding bloom,
Turning all sorrows into fun.

You are the dew shining like a jewel,
Fascination of moonlit nights;
You are the vigilance of the feeble,
Strongest of all the mights.

You are an enchanting magic,
A man's love for his wife;
You are a soul's longing for eternity,
A dying man's scream for life.

You are the best of Nature's creations,
For a glimpse of whom Angels peep;
Come, you, in the darkest of nights
And help me close my eyes in sleep.

About the author: MBA from a reputed IIM. Working in Mumbai. If any females want to contact him, pls feel free to get in touch with me..Goes by the name SK :)

Que Sera Sera...

If I were feline, would I be the lioness, daring the foe to come closer or would I be the humble cat, living under her master's commands? Would I command respect from my entire kingdom or would I be kicked around by little boys?

If I were a bird, would I be an eagle and soar high in the sky or a tiny sparrow chirping and looking for its daily fodder? Would I be proud and happy in my flight or would I be scared and whimpering for want of shelter?

Since I am human, should I be brave and calm, standing against all odds or should I be weak and cowardly, never at peace with myself? Should I enjoy life and grab every opportunity that comes my way or should I wait for happiness to be presented to me on a plate?