I am down in bed with viral and am feeling very very miserable. I wanna go out and have fun. I wanna sing and dance. I wanna go swimming, I wanna party....(pout). It's not like I was actually doing all this stuff when I was fit, but just the fact that I can't do all this stuff angers me.

Btw, I've been trying to go get up in the morning (6 am!) to go swimming and have failed miserably the whole of last week. And my mom wakes up every morning and asks me, "Did you go swimming today?" with a wicked glint in her eyes- because she knows I haven't! As soon as I am out of bed first thing I'm going to do is buy a new costume (to give me an incentive :P) and then I'm going back into the water :)

Bar girls vs cheerleaders-

Yesterday there was this debate on television against the presence of cheerleaders in the IPL matches. There was some old politician talking about culture and censorship on one side and Prahlad Kakkar on the other side- laughing at him :D I also thought that a mountain is being created out of a molehill. If this is what people want to watch- well, let them! Don't make moral judgements against anyone. Just chill...!

Then came the head of the Mumbai Bar Girls' Association. I was totally expecting some wierdly dressed middle aged women screeching into the camera (a la Rakhi Sawant)... but was pleasantly surprised to find an elderly, soft-spoken lady who just made a very small and valid point.

She says that 2 years back these dance bars were closed down in Mumbai on the pretext that these girls are scantily dressed and watching them dance like this in public is "wrong". Now the same government is allowing American females to be scantily dressed and dance in public and that too on national television. This is a clear case of being double-faced and the very grounds on which they had closed the bars, now stand violated.

I totally agree!

which is worse?

Sometimes when I'm in one of my funny-cum-wierd moods, I like to come to this site whichisworse.com. It's very very stupid- but it never fails to bring a smile on my face :D
Sample these- You have to say which is worse?
a) Farting in a public bathroom that amplfiles the sound (OR)
Farting in a public bathroom that amplflies the smell
b) Having the guy you like making a really funny joke and you peeing all over the place because it was so funny (OR) (I'm ROFLing just imagining this one!) :D
Sitting next to your crush and farting in complete silence
c) Never being able to shower again? (OR)
Never being able to brush your teeth again?
d) Having terrible diarreah and not be able to stop it for eternity? (OR)
Having terrible constipation and not be able to go for eternity?
If you found any of the above in bad taste, do realise that I am really really really bored. And please don't judge me coz I laugh at crude jokes... but ya I admit it- sometimes I do find them funny :D

10 things I want to do before I die

This one's inspired by Paro's blog. Here goes- the top 10 things I want to do before I die (in random order)-
1. Own a Ferrari
2. Go on a world tour
3. Start my own NGO- (obviously women and child rights.. duh!)
4. Be able to dance amazingly, without getting conscious
5. Hear my Dad say once that he's proud of me. He'd say he is, if I asked him- but I want him to say it on his own
6. Have babies (in my own sweet time!)
7. See heads turn as I walk into a packed room- and have ALL eyes on me (for the right reasons :)
8. Come on television (with Amitabh Bachchan preferably)
9. Kiss Brad Pitt and Richard Gere and Tom Cruise (and George Clooney also... :D
10. Attain eternal Peace- be calm- be eternally happy :P

OK- so some of the points are more like fantasies instead of goals- but then IIMK's tag line goes- Dream Innovate Achieve :D
p.s. I wanna kiss Hugh Grant also.

&^#^*&^$##@#@%!

Hmm... I'm in a wierd kind of mood... you know when you don't know what exactly you're feeling..? I just know it's wierd coz one moment I'm singing loudly "kya aap paanchvi paas se thez hai..." (just loved the music.. :P) On the other hand I'm just feeling like life's not going great... I mean it's not all that bad, but it could definitely be better. I just wanna freak out and forget my boring office and my boring life...Now I know why people drink- I guess it just makes them forget all these little things and gives a high... but my point is that Life itself should give you a high na? And at one point of time, it used to give me a high... (sigh.. miss those days...)

p.s. Have been trying to remember that song between Jimmy Shergill and some xyz model- from that movie about Kashmir where he's in the army... there's a very very nice song in the woods... It's just at the tip of my tongue, but yaad nahi aa rha... ggrrrr....

Elaan

Have been meaning to introduce "Elaan" to this space for quite some time- but have been kinda busy. Elaan is this NGO that I have been interacting with for the past few months. They deal with Child Sexual Abuse (CSA). It's rare that you get to see such a motivated group of youngsters working for a cause they all strongly believe in. The owner is all of 21 yrs of age and Elaan is a full-time commitment for her...!

There is just so much filth in the world, you won't believe. How can you explain perfectly normal, married men, "touching" their nieces? Or some old grandfather spending some quality time with his grandchild (feeling him/her up!) What is sad is that once these kids grow up (it could be a male or female child) only then do they realise the extent of what has happened to them. Targeting a child has to be the most heinous of all crimes!!

Please do visit Elaan's website here and their blog. In case someone wants to help out in any way, you are most welcome.

God and his ways...

Went to attend a session on "Sexuality and Sexual Abuse" that was being conducted by "Elaan". (Visit their blog here). Elaan is an NGO that works against CSA (Child Sexual Abuse)- but this session was conducted along with "Swikriti" which works with people of alternate sexual orientations. Got to interact with people of different sexual orientations- like homosexuals, trans-genders and effeminate men...

Even though I act modern and open-minded, I will admit that I caught myself staring at a particular guy at innumerable occasions. He was dressed in female clothes with make up & earings and nail-polish etc. His mannerisms were such that you would not find anything amiss. But when he started speaking, obviously his voice gave away everything.

They explained the difference between Sex and Gender- Sex is biological in nature- what you are born as... whereas Gender is what you perceive yourself as. Society has set these rules where sex and gender are considered same, but actually they are not! So what happened to this guy was that he was born as a man (no problem there) but he perceives himself as a woman (which means that his Gender is Female). He likes wearing dresses, putting nail polish, wearing make-up and is attracted to men...

Imagine his anguish, in his childhood/teenage days when he did not even understand why he was behaving differently. Imagine other kids teasing him for being a sissy. Imagine his trauma at not understanding his dad's anger towards him. My heart went out to him when he explained that in his innocence he thought that he could win his dad's love if he looked pretty like his sisters. So he got all dolled up to impress him and got a sound trashing for it.

It's ironical that we think we live in a civilized society, but are yet so backward. And I am a part of it. If this guy was sitting next to me in office- I don't know how I would react. Even today~ when I have understood something about his perspective, I know I wouldn't be normal...but that's the one thing they crave- being accepted as normal.

The monk who spoke in English

Got the opportunity to sit through a Gita pravachan last week. It was not like one of those typical paaths, where you have a holier-than-thou, fat-bellied Guruji talking in heavily-accented Sanskrit. This guy was part of a new-age Mission, where they don't believe in preaching (at least that's how I felt- there may be other view points). He spoke in impeccable English and gave examples from Taare Zameen Par!

One thing that he said was that all humans have 2 goals- a Goal In Life (becoming a doctor, lawyer, MBA, entrepreneur etc) and a Goal Of Life (Our reason for being born- which is to find Peace and Happiness). Often, we confuse the two or completely forget the latter. Our goal IN life can often be a stepping stone towards the goal OF life- but unless we achieve Inner Peace, any other goal is fruitless.

Something else that stuck with me- was that there are 4 important organs in all living beings- Brain (intellect), Heart (emotions), Stomach (survival needs) and Procreating organs (reproductive needs)- {Physical pleasure is considered as a "base emotion" and not included in this list.}

So basically the point that he was making was that Animals move on 4 legs and thus all these 4 organs are placed horizontally (meaning that they are all given equal importance). {That's why they are animals!} Whereas in the human form, the head is the highest (and thus most important), then your heart, then stomach and then the sex organs. So to attain balance in life, a human must always move towards intellectual growth, then emotional peace, then satiate his hunger/thirst and then procreate (which I believe, according to our holy books- is one of the most divine acts).

Pretty philosophical huh?

Music has this amazing quality- it can easily steer your mood. My mood decides what kind of music I want to hear and the music decides what mood I am in. Sometimes a song can make me completely senti like no words can. Yet at times when I'm in a horrible mood, it can suddenly make me feel all pepped up. At a party, I start off by really enjoying the upbeat rhythm, but as the night wanes, I somehow get senti- Don't know about what, but I just feel like sitting there on the floor, under the psychedelic lights and just absorbing the whole thing... It makes me really frustrated coz I don't know what gets into me.. yet I somehow enjoy that sad feeling in a masochistic way.

Like now- I was sitting and listening to some general music- and slowly slowly the words start playing in your head, and it's no longer playing in the background... somehow it crawls into my mind and you start relating to the lyrics. Somehow I love that yet hate it... I was more comfortable when the words didn't make any sense....

Can you cook? :P

Who says India has become advanced? Who says Western influence has come in and is spoiling our culture (I so wish that were true!)? I think that our country is still living in that purana zamaana and the onus is on our generation to do something about it.

You still have the same ol' tradition of arranged marriage- guy's family and the girl's family meet at some place (the girl's side has to pay for the expenses!). The girl had better be dressed in a saree (never mind if she's never worn it in her life, and in most probability won't be wearing it on a daily basis). Questions asked to the girl- and this is the best part- so listen up-

a) What's your name? (At least read the bio-data before coming!)
b) How much have you studied? (refer to above point!)
c) Can you cook? (let's say she can cook... listen to the next one-)
d) Can you cook variety items? (Variety items??? huh?)
d) Do you know ghar ka kaam-kaaj? (like what? jhaadu-bartan-kapde dhona? that's why you want a bahu?)
e) Have you done any extra classes- like painting, cooking classes? (huh??)
f) Do you like going out? (this has to be the best one so far...! :D)
And the last and most important one-
g) Do you have any brothers? No? No brothers at all? Only sisters? Ohh.... Looks at the dad and says, "No sons?"

Not even one question judges the person within... nothing about what you want to be in life.. nothing about your personality... nothing about your expectations.... total timepass... and at least if the guy had been good looking, the evening would not have felt such a waste :D

Disappointment & redemption

I have never felt so let down by a novel before. The fact that I had written so much about the Book in my previous post (see below) or told people about how nice it was- just goes to waste.

The author completely dilutes the plot in the middle of the book. After keeping the readers engrossed in the plot and letting them raise their hopes that something's gonna happen now- he just completely loses his way. The novel falls down to the level of a very very common tale- describing Amir's love-life, his in-laws, his new house, his family. All this could have been captured in brief for the sake of continuation but there was certainly no need at all to devote some 60 pages on it. The plot wanders off aimlessly. You just keep reading because you have seen the potential of the writer, and are still curious about what happens in the end.

Thankfully- after painfully flipping/scanning through all this jazz- you come to the point where that 1 dreaded phone call comes to Amir. How one trip suddenly puts his life in turmoil again and he discovers a truth that changes his whole world for him. One truth that makes his entire 40 yrs of life a sham. Now he has one final chance of gaining redemption, of making peace with himself. Will he have the courage to finally stand up for something he believes in?

Along with Amir, I think the novel will also gain redemption in the final few chapters... wait and watch.

Breathtakingly beautiful :)

For those who've not picked up the Kite Runner (Khaled Hosseini) my advice is to go and get your book right now... I've only started reading the book 2 days back and I am completely hooked. The author has captured the friendship between the protagonist Amir and his servant/friend Hassan, just so beautifully. The intricacies of the child's mind come out so clearly- his love for Hassan, yet his envy of his courage and the place that he holds in his father's heart. Ali hopes to make his own father proud of him too, wants his father to love him unconditionally, wants him to smile at him affectionately and call him Amir Jaan.

But in order to gain that love (by winning the kite flying tournament) Amir needs to sacrifice something and takes the coward's way out. But now the taste of success is bitter. The description of that guilt, his inability to sleep, the crack in his voice are captured amazingly. Somehow you can totally understand and feel exactly what he is going through..

How Amir finally gains redemption, how he deals with his conscience, how does that incident on the day of the tournament affect his future and the person he grows up to be- I can't wait to get back home and find out :)

You'll definitely find out in my next post :)

P.S. Must read novel...definitely a MUST-read :)

You know what's funny? That I can't remember the last time I really really really laughed... you know like a rolling on the floor laughter... when tears start rolling down your cheek.... there can't be any feeling better than that... :)

Actually no- I think I laughed like that last week- during holi celebrations... :)

What I really need is a good laugh a day... I need to hear that giggle coming up from the bottom of my belly... i need to feel that uncontrollable urge to keep giggling and giggling till u feel you're gonna pee in your pants! :D

Look out people- I'm coming back in form :)

Today I spent some real quality time with myself...stole away to the nearby Dominoes during Lunch and sat there all alone just enjoying myself and my pizza :) Sometimes we forget that WE are our top most priority...that we should live life king size (or Queen size) for that matter...

So shut down your mobile phones and make a date with yourself....go to the salon and get yourself pampered.... go shopping... do something new everyday... pick up that new novel you've been eyeing and head to the nearby cafe...get a haircut...try art & craft... learn a new instrument... go dancing... basically go live life :)

Random random cribbing!

Sometimes when people ping me, I'm not sure what they want. There doesn't have to be any ulterior motives for people to ping me, but lately I just feel that I'm not sure what he/she wants. Sometimes people just ping when they see a funny/wierd status message and get curious. That I understand. Or they'll ping me and comment about something I have written on my blog. But other than that I resent people asking me personal questions.

Many people ping and ask me details about my job and you know what- I feel that if I tell them I'm hating my job, they'll feel better than if I say that I'm currently heading entire East India blah blah blah and am really happy with the growth etc! Which is why I always do the latter :D

Or they'll ask me questions like, "Why did u shift to Kolkata, what happened?", "Are you looking for a guy for marriage purposes?", "Have you found someone yourself?", "When are you quitting your job? You know it's high time you did."...... Who's asking you man! Please don't give me advice if I'm not asking for it. And if you want to, then please take permission. And don't ask me personal questions unless you consider yourself to be a very close friend of mine and are sure that I won't mind.