Heal the world...

Every time I come back from an Elaan meeting I get pepped up and think that I'm going to change the world from tomorrow onwards.  I know that's not entirely possible, but I hope I can make a difference somewhere, somehow...

The reason why I enjoy interacting with these people is because now, for once, I seem to have met like-minded people... I have gone through my entire school life and college life and MBA life, being tagged as a feminist or a crusader or a rebel without a cause. Somehow I feel at peace with these people. They have very similar believes as me, they all want to make a difference somewhere, they all feel strongly about certain issues... 

p.s. The pic is from the new upcoming Elaan office- where we had a short film screening and discussions- on World Day against Child Sexual Abuse. There will be more posts on this soon...

Don't try and make a line shorter. Draw a bigger line above it.

Ok ok ok... I go back on what I wrote in my previous post...! I am not going to keep changing my decisions... I will stick by them till the end! And I won't worry about things... I'll just leave everything to god from now on... bas done...!

GGrrrr....

I am such a bad decision maker!! I don't know why I simply can't decide one thing and then just leave it... I keep going back and forth, back and forth about it... !! I'll be dead-sure about something today and then tomorrow I'll go- is that the right decision? Should I do it? Should I wait and watch to see what happens? And then I'll delay the execution... I don't know... when did I become so dumb? :(

Couple of random things...

When you get too excited about something- things are bound to go wrong somewhere.... you know like you've been waiting for this weekend trip for a long time, but when Saturday comes- you find it raining cats and dogs... or you've waited months for a particular event and something goes wrong or it's not really as much fun as you'd hoped... well life is like that... 

Some people are so egoistic you can't believe it!! I've had my share of snob relatives/aquaintances- who think they are  god's gift to mankind and would never condescend to talk to or mingle with other lesser mortals... I say- such people have a really false sense of importance and they can go wash their heads in the toilet! :D Though I guess such people wouldn't condescend to read MY blog, so they wouldn't read my piece of advice to them... tsk tsk tsk... :D 

I like orkut... but I'd like to know if there is some way in which you can cancel someone from your friend list... like maybe I can banish them from my kingdom... :D

Memories are wierd things... they have the ability to make you laugh or smile or cry :) Though as you get older, even the sadder times will evoke a smile from your face- as you realise that well, life isn't all that bad... So, if you're down today... tomorrow you'll smile at the memory of this day coz you'll realise that your were sad for no great reason.. :)

Have you ever tried those stupid online quizzes..? Like the ones about "What's your colour.." or "Which celebrity are you" or "What will be your last words"... 

Do you sometimes get the feeling that none of the options given suit you, or that maybe the most boring answer suits you? You know that you have to be truthful, but somewhere inside you want to cheat and give the most tempting and best answers... hehee... while taking the quiz only, I start feeling that this was a bad idea, because the answers that suit me, make me feel so dumb and "normal".. like I don't do something hatke... like I'm just another brick in the wall... but I'd like to feel that I'm different from junta...  

I'd like to give answers like "I go bungee jumping or skydiving on weekends"... but my actual answer would be "I stay at home and play with the kids". So the answer I got to my quiz was "You'll die peacefully in your sleep...that's nice, though quite boring..." ;)

Picked up this tag from shekhar's blog...it seems like a nice idea... let's see :)

The rules are as follows-

a) Put your music on shuffle mode

b) For each questn, press the next button to get your answer

c) Write the song name, no matter what it is

1. If someone says "Is this okay?", you say:
Janu meri jaan...main tere qurbaan..
main tera, tu meri... jaaney saara hindustaan..

2. What would best describe your personality?
Pappu can't dance saala...

(That's SO NOT true! :D)

3. What do you like in a guy?

Tumse milke aisa laga, tumse milke ...

armaan hue poore dil ke

Ae mere jaane wafa

Teri meri meri teri ek jaan hai

Saath tere rahenge sada

tumse na honge judaa...

4. How do you feel today?

Bhaage re mann kahin, aage re mann chala, jaane kidhar jaanu na...

5. What is your life's purpose?

Jaaney woh kaise, log the jinke... pyaar ko pyaar milaa..

humne to jab, kaliyaan maaangi... kaanton ka haar milaa...

6. What do your friends think of you?
Maula mere.. maula mere

maula mere.. maula mere...

7. What do you think of your parents?

I want to break free...

(Oops..!)

8. What do you think of very often?
Tere bina... jiya nahi jaaye....

tere hi maine... hai sapne sajaye...

9. What is 2 + 2?
Jhoom barabar Jhoom..!

10. What do you think of the person you like?
Khwaab dekhe jhootey moothey...

batiya banaye kaise...

sajna anari beyimaan...

11. What is your life story?
Don't funk with my heart... (hehehe...)

12. What do you want to be when you grow up?
Pyar zindagi hai... pyar bandagi hai.. (Shaan)

13. What do you think of when you see the person you like?
Chhod do anchal... zamaana kya kahega ;)

14. What do your parents think of you?
Meri mehboob, qayamat hogi...

15. What will you dance to you at your wedding?

Khuda Jaane ke mein fida hun
Khuda Jaane mein mit gaya
Khuda jaane yeh kyun huwa hai
Ke ban gaye ho tum mere khuda

16. What will they play at your funeral?
Intoxicated 

(hahaha...! I hope I don't die drunk :D)

17. What is your hobby/interest?
Heartbeat (instrumental)..

18. What is your biggest secret?
Tu jahaan jahaan chalega...

mera saaya, saath hoga... mera saaya.. 

(yeah... actually I'm a ghost ;)

19. What do you think of your friends?
Allah ke bandey...

aww... so sweet... love you guys :*

20. What should you post this as?

badalon ki gehrayee main, soche kya huzoor

oonche oonche chehre hai...zameen se kitne dur... 

21. What do you think about this tag?

tu bin bataye, mujhe le chal kahin...

Well that's the end of it... I'd like people to definitely try this tag.. it's good fun :)

Yippee! I won..!

The last time I felt such a nervousness must have been on our Annual Sports Day in XIIth standard... !! Standing in position, waiting for the whistle to blow and seeing the full stands- believe me I thought I'd pee in my pants :D But well, once the race started I was fine and even managed to come a decent 2nd :)) I consider it decent owing to the simple fact that my competitors were all around 14 yrs and in the final lap I thought I'll simply collapse right there!! I never realised that I was soo damn low on stamina! 

Obviously people at home and some friends found it funny that I was actually nervous for a stupid competition- which was meant for children..! (On my behalf, the turnout was much much more than I had expected... and there were participants from almost all over Calcutta..) But then someone said to me, "Don't consider yourself the oldest there, coz most of the other students have been skating for years... so they are the seniors and you're pretty junior. Fall if you have to today, but win it!" :)

I'm sad that I didn't come first (I could have easily beaten that girl, if my breadth hadn't given up on me :( But I'm happy I didn't come last..! That would have been really sorrowful..! And I got this really nice silver medal... so I'm pretty pepped up... and gearing up for the next competition in December, which is for the advanced category... I hope I don't come in last! :)

Life on wheels... :)

The only high I get these days, is when I am on wheels... I have been learning roller skates for a few months now and I love the feeling of childlike glee, whenever I get on my pair of skates.  I am also proud to announce that I am pretty ok on roller blades too (basically, the wheels here, are in a straight line instead of four wheels in the four corners, like in normal skates) 

For those who don't have a decent sense of balance- don't try it.. I consider myself to be progressing really well- and yet I fall a lot :D Believe me, it does become embarassing when you suddenly find yourself flat on the ground with your arms wide apart and your legs at a wierd angle (like an X!!) :P And it's definitely not funny when the entire class starts giggling at your antics :D (thought actually, it is- if you take it in the right spirit :) 

I really enjoy speeding and racing with the other students... but more than that I really enjoy the artistic part of it... I never thought that I could ever do things that I'm doing- skating on one foot, sitting, jumping, skating backwards... you know how you see these ice skating shows on television... I know I can never reach those levels but I am very happy and proud of what I'm doing :)

The average age of the class is 11 but believe me I don't feel out of place... (ya ya... I know K junta will start off about how I was always the kid in the batch!! :D But seriously speaking, I am finding out that it is never too late to learn anything new and you're only as old as you think you are :)

I know I've been sounding really down and out in my last few posts... well, for those who are concerned- I'm all right... I'm just at a stage where am looking for new opportunities in life and currently feeling that I'm kinda stuck. This is something which happens to most people from time to time (at least I'd like to believe that I'm not the only one feeling like this :DD) and it's no big deal... I've never lived under any misconceptions about life being a fairy tale... never really believed in the "happily ever after" hogwash... so basically I'm fine... and absolutely fine... am terrfic... am great.... thanks for the concern though :)

So near yet so far...

Do you sometimes get dreams that seem almost real? I mean like real dreams- when you're asleep. Have you ever dreamt about something that you really wanted, really really wanted... and in your dreams you actually get it... and the feeling seemed so real that you can almost feel it? Like the dream seemed so real that you could smell, touch and feel everything... This is not like any regular dream where you just see things... these are surreal... these are like sooo sooo real that you can feel emotions in your dreams... 

When you wake up after such a dream.. you get a feeling of elation at the whole experience... it's like you know now that this IS exactly what you wanted and how you'd feel when you achieved it.... but this feeling only stays for a micro mini second... till you realise that you're awake and lying in your lousy bed- nowhere close to your dream... and you get such a fuck-all lousy feeling that you won't believe... i'd rather not dream at all if this is how it ends... 

When you really really need someone to talk to- just go to damn chat page and talk to a stranger... in times of real desperate need you'll find that you don't want to call up your friends... how many times will you call them up and cry in front of them? After a while you'll feel embarassed or will feel like a fool... 

So listen to my advice- go to a chat room and catch some random stranger... you wont even have to bother about him again and next time get another random stranger!